Scared to lead, not committed to discipleship...

I know, I know, you're probably thinking, "What does an old kareoke machine have to do with discipleship? Just wait a minute and I'll get to that. Before I get there, I want to tell you all a little story from my teenage-hood.

I've been playing on worship teams since shortly after I learned to play guitar. It started in a small group that my dad led at his house in Houston when I was about 14 or 15, but long before that I hung around the worship team members, trying to learn all that I could from them at my church in North Carolina.

When my family moved to Houston, we started going to a big church on the west side of town. The youth leadership one day asked if anyone was interested in playing on the worship team. They said to attend a practice later that week. My parents had just purchased me an brand-new electric guitar. It was an Ibanez 165. I still have it, and I still love that guitar. I didn't have an amp, pedals, or much skill with an electric, but I still SO wanted to play electric in the church band.

When I came to the practice, they decided to make two different worship teams, or, at least, that's what it seemed to me that they were doing. Most of the musicians stayed in the main hall for the senior-high worship team, and they set me up in a separate room with my electric guitar and a kareoke machine for my guitar amp.

I stayed there, waiting for the rest of the musicians that would make up the jr. high worship team, and no one came. I played my guitar for a little while, entertaining myself, still waiting, and still no one came.

I finally went back into the main room and asked one of the youth leaders what had happened, and he said, "Oh... I thought we got you all set up in the other room." In other words, I'm pretty sure they were just trying to keep me occupied in that room while they practiced.

I really hope I don't sound angry - I don't fault them at all. That's a really hard situation to be in. I've been in that place a few times, trying not to hurt someone's feelings while knowing *for sure* that they weren't ready for the position they wanted on the worship team.

Since then, I've been a worship leader in four different churches, and two of my guitar students have gone on to be worship leaders in their churches; however, I've had a lot of trials-by-fire, made many mistakes, and no one has mentored me in the "art of worship leading."

If God's plan for the future includes me being a worship leader again, I really hope that I'll have the patience to take "little Davids with electric guitars" under my wing, see their future, and direct them towards their potential. That is *really* hard to see, though, without spending time with someone.